How Wounding Continues When You Avoid the Pain

Pain can feel like a tricky issue. We desperately want it to end, but we don't want to do the things that would end it. Not because we're incapable - some of the smartest, steadiest people I know have a few things spinning through their psyche, waiting for resolution. Each of us is capable, and it's made easier when you understand what's behind both the pain and your avoidance of it. Easier still when you can recognise the destruction created through that avoidance. Let's break it down.

In The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer gives a great example of what happens. He talks about getting a thorn stuck in your skin. Instead of pulling it out and letting the body heal, you leave it, and it begins to fester. You then have to devote energy and focus to keeping anything from irritating the wound - that alone becomes exhausting.

I cannot emphasise enough how much of this we are unconsciously doing every day. We opt out of a great party because we felt rejected at school. We stop singing or dancing because of an awkward moment decades ago. We let our dreams fade because the thought of being witnessed feels overwhelming. We stop being vulnerable, open with another, because we fear judgement or rejection.

None of these present choices are based in present information. It is all informed by stories from the past. We confuse the past with the present, and wait for it to be repeated. But it does not have to.

When we go back into past pain, part of us wants to shrink away, to hide from the memory, the shame, the guilt, the blame. We believe we will have to experience it all again. But the memory isn't the same as the incident - all that's happening is that you're tapping into emotion that wasn't fully allowed to speak, to share, to resolve. Once you've fully met the wound, understood what wisdom it still has to share, it can heal. But it requires a degree of courage, honesty, and openness to receive.

So you can opt out of the self-discovery. And you'll spend your life trying to protect the thorns within you. You'll suffer in mind and body. You'll avoid the very things you're seeking - deep connection, expansion of mind, new adventure, change of circumstance.

Or you can face the fears and understand that they're never as big and scary as we believe them to be.

Over the coming week, I'd encourage you to meditate on the following:

• When I shy away from growth, which memories tend to surface?
• When life offers an opportunity to grow, to mature, what makes me hesitate, falter?
• Which wound makes me feel as though I'll be suffering through it forever?
• Which thorns can I remove now and allow resolution within?

Life experiences echo, and memory permeates. But we get to change the story when we stop living from the past, and move more fully into the Now.

For those who heal, guide, lead, serve, this work is necessary, non-negotiable. Otherwise you'll hide from the people you're here to serve. You'll run away from opportunities that would help you grow. The energy of the upcoming Autumn is ripe for deep healing, and for changing relationship dynamics within ourselves and with the world around us. If you'd like to remove the thorns and gain greater wisdom, you're welcome to join us.

Sending blessings for courage, resolution, and the ability to live in the Now.

- Jennifer