Reflections + Clearing, before the next chapter
Over the past month or two, I've come to recognise that I've been moving, often clumsily, towards a threshold. There's been a huge desire to clear out basically everything. A lot of ups and downs emotionally. And a bit of hope to slow things down, just for a little while.
Around 3 weeks ago, I marked 20 years since I moved to the UK. And tomorrow marks 20 years of marriage. Two decades is something my mind is struggling to hold and accept. But I do believe that on a spiritual and energetic level, I've been preparing for this milestone in many, many ways.
I've been closing loops - in my head and in my energetic field. I've been pulling out old laptops, cables, cords, and tech that simply needs recycling or donating. It was all dropped off this morning, and I can already feel my mind unknotting. Old tech represents old thinking, old programs, old patterns. I am so, so ready for a mind that feels fresh and new. I am ready to look towards the next ten years, instead of searching back through the past decades. I recognise the temptation within me to repeat what is known, to try to make the old present again. But it's all upgrading, for all of us. Remember - this is Year 1 for the collective. If you're fighting the new ideas and inspiration, you're missing out, and pulling momentum from the new decade waiting to form ahead of you.
A few weeks ago, I went through a storage box holding some things I knew I needed to deal with, and a few things I'd "forgotten" about. Things I've grieved and processed to a large degree - but there were still a few realisations to sit with. And while it felt heavy in the moment, I'm glad to have spent that time clearing emotional charges from the past, so that I can step into this new decade with a lighter sense of self. A great reminder: the small places you avoid, physically and emotionally, can hold the deepest feelings. Don't put it off. You can work through it.
One way of looking back that has felt useful is remembering how I got here in the first place. I followed my intuition and decided to spend months travelling around Europe. I followed my intuition into the bar where I met my husband. I followed my intuition through our four years of long-distance dating. I followed my intuition when I chose to move here. Moving to Edinburgh was one of the easiest choices I've ever made. The details were never easy - visas, looking for work, building new friendships - but the choice was. While there are things I miss about my life in the US, I'm grateful for all that I've gained and experienced in the move. Sometimes what you surrender creates space for exponential growth, wealth, and joy. Worth considering.
Approaching this threshold has felt like a bumpy ride. The discomfort and the ups and downs have made the past few months harder. But what I also know on a spiritual level is that as we approach a threshold, we begin to empty out whatever we can, so that the next chapter is actually a new chapter - not the same story repeating itself. For now, I will keep bringing my mind back to the present, and towards what I want to experience in the near future. I know I want to build a life of exploration and travel, one full of synchronicity and divine timing. I want to move towards a greater sense of connection and fulfillment. And I hope that grace, and my sense of humour, will support me along the way.
Whatever threshold you are approaching or navigating through, I hope you can keep bringing yourself into the present moment - remembering that the past is not to be repeated, but to be learned from. And I hope you can set your eyes towards a horizon that is inviting, interesting, and inspiring.
Sending blessings to each of you for being a part of my tribe. I'm so grateful for every one of you.
- Jennifer
