The moment before change often feels the worst

I was listening to a podcast at 3am (I am really feeling this eclipse portal), interviewing Chris Hemsworth about his career. They interview a lot of actors and musicians on Smartless, and he told a story I’ve heard many times before. He said he was just about to give up when he landed his breakthrough role, the one that truly got him started. This story, or one very similar, is repeated far too often to be random. And it isn’t.

Today I wanted to gently explore why we reach that quitting point, that breaking point, and how sometimes that very edge is the turn of the tide.

Human beings often struggle with change. We desperately want a feeling or circumstance to move in another direction, yet when we begin to examine what has caused it, we can subconsciously start to retreat. The abstract becomes real, and we recognise our role in it all. It can feel confronting and uncomfortable, and it asks something of us. So often, we wait until it becomes so painful that we cannot tolerate it staying the same. Our health falters, we suffer mentally or emotionally, the stress and sadness feel overwhelming. We hit what feels like rock bottom, and only then do we begin to swim or build our way into a new choice and a new effect.

There is another reason it can feel so intense right before change - and this may resonate more with those of you who are spiritually inclined. Sometimes we are holding so tightly to what we believe must happen, and how it must happen, that there is no space for life to move. We care so deeply, we wish so hard, that the energy turns into clenching and grasping. It becomes desperation. And healthy outcomes rarely flow easily under that kind of pressure.

Often, it is when we exhaust ourselves - when we finally admit we cannot keep going in that strained way - that something softens. We relinquish control, even slightly. And then the energy and possibility that were likely already present can finally move. This is often when synchronicities appear, when the magical lands in ways we could not have planned. It requires trust. It requires intuition. It asks us to open the heart and mind to outcomes that may look different than expected.

I can look back at moments in my own life where I worked tirelessly to make something happen, only for it to truly land once I loosened my internal grip. I have been speaking a lot lately about “holding things loosely.” I cannot know every outcome or every piece of the puzzle. So I hold the vision with care and focus, but without clenching. At first this felt unfamiliar. I had to return to the mantra again and again. Yet the more I practice it, the more my body relaxes, my mind stops spinning through endless imagined scenarios, and good things begin to arrive.

You do not have to force movement into your life. You can open, and allow life to move with you.

A few things to sit with this week, especially as we approach the Virgo Total Lunar Eclipse:

• If I soften my body and quiet my mind, releasing the perceived "needs" or "musts" pulling at me, what else might emerge?
• Do I truly have to reach exhaustion before I relinquish control, or is there a gentler way available to me now?
• Can I see myself as graceful, open-hearted, inviting and receptive? What would help me embody that in relation to life?
• When was the last time I leaned into trust and something beautiful unfolded? How might I continue to hold things loosely?

Between eclipses, this is less about doing and more about allowing. Allowing energy to shift within you, through you, and for you. Let yourself feel into trust. Let yourself feel courage. Let yourself witness what is already moving.

Sending blessings for trust, openness, and intuition.

- Jennifer

P.S. This is our final call for the Basic Theta Healing Retreat beginning this weekend. If you feel even the slightest pull to join us, today is the day to say yes so we can prepare the space with you in mind. These retreats are powerful, intimate, and deeply transformative, and I would love to welcome you. Please reach out with any questions, and if your heart is nudging you, trust it and book today.