Which gifts did you abandon for "normal"?

Remembering + Relearning Yourself

I've been re-learning a lot about myself lately. Around 5 years ago, I began to suspect that I might operate within the Neurodivergent realm, after a few conversations with highly sensitive women exploring a diagnosis, and their stories sounded too, too familiar.

I'll be honest - when I began to research how ADHD presents in girls and women, I had a bit of a freak out. I kept reading, listening, and then the existential crisis began. I spent around three weeks in a spin, because I lost my grasp on so many ideas and identities within myself, recognising on some very deep levels that they were simply not true.

I'd spent decades judging myself as incapable or faulty because I wasn't doing things the "normal" way. I had to mourn all of my "what ifs" - what if I'd known this as a child, what if I'd been supported by the educational system, what if I'd been able to embrace the differences? There are no answers to these questions, of course, but I still went through the process, and healed through it.

Through this process of seeing myself more clearly, one of the things I return to again and again is the question of tools: the tools, awarenesses, and natural genius each of us carries within us, and what happens when we don't know how to use them.

When I think of this, I see myself walking into a high-tech, gleaming kitchen full of machines and gadgets - with no idea where to begin, because I don't even know what they do.

I can look back at myself as a young child, full of imagination, playful, curious. I loved to read, I wanted to learn (even as a 5 year old I was fascinated by space and the universe - hello astrology!). I played with bugs, pets, plants, and created imaginary worlds. With what I know now about our intuitive senses and how we connect energetically, I also know that I was reading the energy present, interacting with multiple planes at once, feeling into the life of the plants and land, in tune with the elements. And then I was expected to sit still in a classroom for hours, disconnected from myself and my gifts. No wonder so many of us feel out of place, ill-equipped, or somehow lacking.

What eventually made the difference for me was finding courses and events that gave me language for who I am - intuitive, highly sensitive, psychic, a healer, empathic, a channel, a reader. None of those options were on offer in high school! But I'm so glad I found my way to these communities, experiences, and ways of seeing and moving through the world. Through them, I was able to remember myself, to value my gifts, to bring them into my daily life. The process of understanding has been a reintroduction and a remembering, more deeply healing and more fully embodied than so many other paths I've walked.

Gemini season ends this weekend with the Solstice, and I see this as the perfect moment to cast your memory back to who you "were" as a child, or that sense of your "inner child" (it's the same thing, really). The core of you, your intuitive gifts, your imagination, your curiosity - all of it is still intact there and then. And because those aspects are whole then, they are also whole now. You, as a complete being, have never lost them. You have never separated from yourself. There may be a healing, emotional processes to move through, but know this: you are still you. Still innocent. Still light and playful and whole.

I hope you'll spend this week remembering, and allowing those aspects to surface, in whatever way feels most aligned, and fun.

A few things to meditate on, to ask yourself, to help you remember:

• When I'm at my most playful, light, and open - what emerges within me?
• What did I love to do before, simply for the fun and joy of it?
• What kind of art did I make that I stopped, because I wasn't "good" at it, or couldn't justify the time?
• What would happen if I chose each action of the day purely through intuition, following what feels most aligned to do next?

I hope you remember the deeper truth of who and what you really are. And that you allow your inherent gifts to surface, unfold, and be used.

Sending blessings for freedom of expression, lightness of being, and a feeling of belonging.

- Jennifer

P.S. This Sunday at 9am, just moments before the Sun crosses into Cancer and the season turns, I'm hosting a live online Solstice gathering - A Threshold into Radiance. A moment to mark the light, feel the shift, and move gracefully into the next season. All are welcome, wherever you are. Join us here.

If you're joining me for Practical Intuition this Saturday and Sunday, the Solstice morning is already included. A fitting way to step across the threshold together