Over the past week, a theme has been consistent in sessions and conversations: we’re projecting old identities and relationship dynamics onto those around us. I’ve had a dozen conversations about how we often don’t see people for who they truly are - we see echoes of the past layered over them.

Let’s break this down.

Our childhoods form the foundation for how we see the world. Our mothers (or mother figures) often shape how we perceive women, girls, intuition, receiving, and even the feminine - both positively and negatively. The way we experienced father figures affects how we relate to boys, men, institutions, money, support, authority, and the masculine.

If those early relationships were healthy, respectful, kind, and compassionate, we carry a clearer lens through which to view others. But if there were inevitable issues (we’re all human!), then our lens may be fogged with static - extra noise, blind spots, and distortions.

I was listening to a podcast recently, and one of the h...

As a healing practitioner, I have heard the expression “Healer, heal thyself” repeated throughout the years.  And the more I teach and practice, the more I understand the why behind this wisdom.
There is always a difference in working with a practitioner who has gone through their own ‘stuff’, but has processed, understood, and resolved it, versus one who has not.  A lot of healers believe that because they are going through something now, they are qualified to help others with it.  But if you are still in your stuff, how can you see what is happening with your client?

The very best healers are those who are ready and willing, not only to help others through their suffering, but who have done the same for themselves.
The reality is that as long as you are swimming in your suffering, you cannot see the truth of what is happening within your client.  As long as you feel enraged over abuse from the past, you cannot really help another to understand his emotions, or to move beyond.
As long a...