Are you over-giving or under-receiving? (I bet its both!)

Hello beautiful beings, I hope that you are feeling more joyful, aligned, and expanded here in the heart of Sagittarius Season! The emphasis for this astro season is on learning, exploration, and moving towards mastery. We have a chance to fine-tune direction, and to feel the benefits in the areas where we are most aligned.

But if there are areas where we are lacking in alignment, Tis the season to realise the effects...

I have been speaking to people a lot lately about depletion - feeling depleted within the body (exhausted, over-worked, overwhelmed), depleted in mind (unfocused, lack of clarity, distracted), and depleted within the spiritual body (unsupported, lacking guidance, tired beyond the physical). So I wanted to write about a polarity that we often undervalue or dismiss, even though it can cut through so many layers of us, as the impact ripples through every facet of our lives.


There is a direct correlation between over-giving and under-receiving, there is never one without the other. Anyone who over-gives is also under-receiving. It becomes impossible at some point, because the balance tips, and is nothing left to give. And I bet that sounds familiar to a lot of you (especially the empaths and highly sensitive people here!).

Those who have felt depleted, underserved, ignored, unsupported, have felt the pain and difficulty this creates. And then at some point, begin to overcorrect with other people, trying to rescue them from the pain we imagine they suffer. We can also subconsciously believe that if we can give just enough, we will start to be given what we need. But in truth, any option that includes giving to the point of exhaustion, or out of obligation or fear, will never bring us what we want on any level, body or spirit.

So what needs to happen? We need to look at our fears around receiving. 


Most of us feel that we desperately want to receive as much love, support, acceptance, honour as we could possibly gain. And on subconscious levels, we are stopping ourselves from experiencing these. We may associate these with pain, obligation, having to prove. Whatever the motivations, we actually block what would nourish us most.

So the problem isn't that others aren't giving us enough. Its that we are refusing to receive it.

And then the cycle continues, we over-give and under-receive, depleting ourselves on every level, until we reach a point that the cycle has to stop, there is nothing left.


The good news is that when you really begin to understand this pattern, you can address it, and change your reactions and behaviours. You can refrain from giving too much (especially when others are asking you to stop, because they feel that the pattern is unhealthy). You can stop overspending (because love and joy cannot be bought). You can stop forcing dynamics within relationships that create obligation or imbalance (it isn't good for anybody).

You liberate yourself from the push-pull of trying so hard to make someone care or notice, and obligating them to respond in a way that does not serve either of you.


A few things to meditate on over the coming weeks:

  • Do I over give in an attempt to then be given something back? Do I obligate others to take from me, when the dynamic is unhealthy for both of us?
  • What is being offered that would nourish me, that I refuse to see, acknowledge, receive? How do I reject love, care, support on a regular basis?
  • Do I feel obligated to give? What do I feel obligated to give? If I released that obligation, what would heal within my relationships?
  • Do I feel resentment around giving and receiving? When have I felt disappointed or angry because I did not receive what I expected?


Remember that as humans, we often place conditions on our exchanges, and then suffer as a result of our own expectations. What could change if you released the expectations, and gave without obligation? Or received without fear? Allow these patterns to evolved this holiday season, changing your perspective of spending, gifting, sharing. And then witness your relationships expand and heal. This is the greatest gift you could give and receive.


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