In a world of contrast and contradiction, we often look for ways to trade one for another. To change one circumstance for another, one relationship for another… But these exchanges take up time, energy, and often leave us wanting. Our comfort zones are limited and limiting, our past experiences colour our perceptions of what is possible to create. We look to the past and to others around us to see what is on offer, because we believe that we need to follow. But if we are always following the past, we never create a different future, we only create what has been.

We watch other women to see what is acceptable as a woman. We look to other men to act in ways that are expected. We emulate leaders and others in places of power to fill those roles. We watch teachers in an attempt to teach others, or ourselves.

We listen to the stories of our ancestors’ suffering and pain and assume we will endure the same. We read the stories of our histories, full of abuse, pain, and waste,...