Over the past few weeks, the same conversation has kept unfolding, carried in by clients and friends and the people I sit with in session, each of them circling a tension that feels both deeply personal And collective: the pull between belonging and freedom. It shows up as a low hum beneath the questions they bring. If I say what I really think, will I lose my place? If I follow what is calling me, will I end up alone? Do I have to choose?
The old stories say yes. Our old archetypal identities have taught us, for a very long time, that these two live at opposite ends of the map. There is the one who stays, who keeps the hearth, who belongs to the village and sacrifices their wildness for it. And there is the one who leaves, the wanderer and the outlier, who buys their freedom with the loss of connection. We have inherited these figures as though they were the only options available to us, and so many of us spend our lives swinging between them, "belonging" until it suffocates, breakin...
When I think about my favourite stories, and the heroes that drive the narrative, there's always a common thread - they are imperfect, flawed in many ways.
I've never been drawn to the shiny white knight with the perfect armour, or the princess who waits to be saved. I think that many of us feel the same. The characters and archetypes that are richest are those with many hues. They are battle worn, they've won hard-fought lessons, they've found a way to move through the conflict, even when it was hard. There's something inspiring about those who fall and get up again.
My favourite character is Roland Deschain, from Stephen King's Dark Tower series (if you haven't read it, run out and get the first book!). Roland is the last gunslinger. He's lived for generations, has lost people and battles. Roland is open about where he has failed, but more importantly, where he has learned. And the reason he's survived - he intuitively weaves these lessons into his perspective, and into the ways he...
The Threshold - The Equinox represents a moment when light and dark seem to hold equal measure. But the moment you reach the midpoint is not when you stand still. Instead, you are invited to listen for the harmony within the movement - the way two seemingly opposing forces can move together, each note distinct, neither one dimming the other, the whole becoming richer than either on their own. It is not a pause point in your momentum, but an opening into it. Everything you grew through Spring and Summer is still moving, still alive, still unfolding. The Equinox simply invites a new instrument into the arrangement: the wisdom of the dark, joining the growth within the light, both playing in the same symphony. This week's Autumn Equinox invites us into that harmony.
The Turning - From growth to harvest.
All Spring and Summer long, you planned and planted, reaching toward the light. You built within your work, your relationships, and within yourself.
Moving into the energy of Autumn,...
Looking back at the way my life has unfolded, I've been proud of the fact that I'm someone who consistently pushes beyond her comfort zone. I backpacked through foreign lands and languages for over four months. I moved to a new country, a new continent. I taught English in Hong Kong just after SARS, and have said yes to adventure and expansion again and again.
But I've also come to see where I wasn't stretching - where I was bypassing, avoiding, shrinking instead. The part of me that loves an adventure, a change of scenery or pace, has always been willing to take the risk. But there are other parts of me that are far less brave.
Today's reflection turns you toward the things you don't find hard - not because they're easy, but because you've simply chosen not to address them. These are the untrodden parts of you: the paths less walked, the corners with little light. They're the least familiar, and in many ways, the most consequential. They may not shout dramatically, but the whispers ...
Pain can feel like a tricky issue. We desperately want it to end, but we don't want to do the things that would end it. Not because we're incapable - some of the smartest, steadiest people I know have a few things spinning through their psyche, waiting for resolution. Each of us is capable, and it's made easier when you understand what's behind both the pain and your avoidance of it. Easier still when you can recognise the destruction created through that avoidance. Let's break it down.
In The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer gives a great example of what happens. He talks about getting a thorn stuck in your skin. Instead of pulling it out and letting the body heal, you leave it, and it begins to fester. You then have to devote energy and focus to keeping anything from irritating the wound - that alone becomes exhausting.
I cannot emphasise enough how much of this we are unconsciously doing every day. We opt out of a great party because we felt rejected at school. We stop singing or d...
Today the moon is dark in Virgo, the sign of the healer, the refiner, the one who takes what is broken and asks what it might be for. A new moon always invites a fresh start, and this one in particular asks something more precise of us than simply beginning again. It asks us to look closely, to notice the pattern beneath the pattern, to bring healing hands to the very places we'd rather not touch. Because before there is mastery, there is the wound.
Every one of us arrives here divine and whole, and every one of us is shaped, somewhere along the way, by an experience that leaves a mark. In the old myths, this is Chiron's story, the wounded healer who could not heal himself was the great teacher of healers. His wound was not a flaw in the story, it was the doorway into it.
For most of us there is a theme, a particular thread of wounding that runs through childhood and into the years that follow, shaping the paths we walk toward and the ones we avoid. What we do with that thread matter...
Today, under a Mars-ruled sky with the moon moving toward its last quarter, I'm opening the doors to something I've been building for a long time.
Over the years, the archetype of the Peaceful Warrior is one that I continue to revisit. I honour the duality of one built for battle, but who redirects that active, focused energy towards building, tending, nurturing. Archetypal work is always filled with polarities and dualities, which is what makes it so rich. The idea that we can take the shadow of a story and turn it into a strength is inspiring, it fills me with hope.
And so this Autumn, I will be offering a 7 week online group program, to walk us through the dualities of life and identity, so that we are no longer defined by them. And so that we can thrive within them.
The why behind it all: I've spent years watching brilliant, capable people - healers, leaders, teachers - hold the energy for everyone else, while struggling to manage their own in the background, as if it were somet...
Hello beautiful beings, I hope you are navigating this liminal stretch between the eclipses with a sense of grace - even if it has been up and down for so many of us!
Over the past week, in meditation, I keep meeting the same theme: shaping, and being shaped. I wanted to unpack it a little, in the hope that it serves you too.
There is an old philosophical debate about whether we shape the world or it shapes us - whether it's possible to be an island, singular, self-made, or whether we are simply products of our environment. Like most things, I believe it's both. We are always responding to what's offered to us, being shaped by it, and then choosing what to add, remove, nurture, release. A continual dance - breathing in lifeforce to nourish the body, moving to the rhythm within, stepping toward what we desire, drawing back from what is painful, expressing everything that moves through us.
This eclipse season feels like a distinct one. The nodes of fate have recently shifted into Leo,...
We are approaching the halfway point between two eclipses, moving from fire and into water and air. When I feel into the water and air elements, I see a flow that carries momentum into the weeks and months ahead - and the fire we've walked through has been clearing the way for it.
So today, I want to address what may still be lingering, what could be damming up the flow into the future. Because if we address this now, the coming week will unfold more easily, more gracefully.
For today, ask yourself:
Over years of teaching and holding space, this is one of the questions that is asked, over and over again. I would love to give you a single sentence, but I'll do my best here to simplify a more complex answer.
If I had to sum the answer up, in a potentially unsatisfying answer, it would be this: You never are.
When I look back at my life at the times I waited, desperately wanting to be ready, I recognise that it was never about being fully comfortable or totally "prepared". But that what I wanted to do was important enough to go ahead anyway.
Ready is an illusion. By the time you know all of the details, have planned out every minute, feel totally comfortable, the moment has passed you by. The tension of caring enough for it to make you nervous is actually what gives it life, energy, momentum. Friction isn't a problem unless you allow it to slow you down, or doubt yourself.
This is where time and timing comes into play - I believe that if you ask for the most aligned timing, it's ...
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