On some level, we all fight the experience of Love.
We ask, beg, and plead for love, and then reject loving experiences as they are offered. There is always a complex mix of ideas, images, and feelings that float to the surface as we consider what the word love means. The layers of misaligned ideas develop as a result of millennia of human beings grasping at love, but failing to truly understand.
As we develop relationships with partners, lovers, friends, we know that we want to create loving experiences. But we fail in our attempts to inspire, create, cajole, or evoke love within ourselves or another, because we have too many conflicting beliefs about what love really is.
Those who have lived in abusive relationships will often associate love with abuse. If ‘the people who love you, leave you’, we believe that love leads to abandonment. We have associations based on our experiences, but we are blaming love for the areas in which love has...
As a healing practitioner, I have heard the expression “Healer, heal thyself” repeated throughout the years. And the more I teach and practice, the more I understand the why behind this wisdom.
There is always a difference in working with a practitioner who has gone through their own ‘stuff’, but has processed, understood, and resolved it, versus one who has not. A lot of healers believe that because they are going through something now, they are qualified to help others with it. But if you are still in your stuff, how can you see what is happening with your client?
The very best healers are those who are ready and willing, not only to help others through their suffering, but who have done the same for themselves.
The reality is that as long as you are swimming in your suffering, you cannot see the truth of what is happening within your client. As long as you feel enraged over abuse from the past, you cannot really help another...
In December 2016, I witnessed David Gray’s masterclass at the Royal Lyceum Theatre in Edinburgh.
I am in love with the experience of listening to singer/songwriters perform their own work. Because they KNOW it, they live it, they understand. There is a magic in that connection from heart, gut, soul, to hands, voice, instruments.
I did not know many of his songs, but I was consumed by his production. He would begin a song with a bit of background music, record, and repeat. And then a layer of melody, record, repeat. Background vocals, a beat, and a few other layers would be performed one by one, and added to the growing complexity of the song.
{I remember watching a show about Motown music a few years ago, and hearing them discuss the layers of music, and the fullness the layers provided. Music from that era has always been among my favorite, and now I know why.}
At one point, David started to talk about the layering of music, and I started to...
What wisdom are you bringing to 2018?
The end of December is one of my favorite times of the year. I love it because work winds down for the holidays, and I set aside time to reflect, to gain perspective. It is a powerful few weeks.
As I look back, I remember what I’ve gained over the year. And this year has been a time of growth and of letting go. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
At the beginning of the year, I focused on my core desired feelings (via Danielle LaPorte, check her out). These represent how I want to feel as much as possible, and there are some subtle shifts each year. My words for 2017 were:
Purposeful, Luminous, Bold, Dynamic, Aware, Fascinated, Aligned, Awakened, Spirited, Devoted
Next year, I’ll be asking for more dynamism and luminosity, fine-tuning my experience.
Theme of the Year: What would Prince do?
The answer: Whatever the hell he wants to do. It is always liberating to do what you truly desire, what really aligns.
Be more like Prince....
Avoidance is one of the ways that we attempt to protect ourselves. We believe on some level that if we refuse to acknowledge something, that it will not hurt us.
But the opposite is true.
Whatever you resist persists. Whatever you avoid sticks. Whatever you ignore will eventually make itself known. Often in the loudest, most inconvenient and uncomfortable way possible.
Which area of your life feels as though it is out of alignment?
Which facet feels uncomfortable, heavy?
What area is hazy, confusing, upside down?
What are you refusing to see, feel, know, or acknowledge on a conscious level, which would allow you to resolve the inner conflict?
Take some time today or this week, to shine a light on the dark places within your life. All you will see are your fears, (but remember, your fears are not the truth). And once you allow yourself to see beyond them, you will see and know the way forward, the way to peace <3
Download: Would you...
Our emotions are powerful guides, when we listen…
We often feel more willing or able to follow our joy, our bliss, our peace. But what are our other emotions, our more negative feelings, trying to tell us?
Anger is one that most of us tend to avoid. We are afraid of it. We are afraid of how other act, speak, behave when angry. We are afraid of what we ourselves will say or do out of anger.
This is often after we have left the anger to grow, fester, burn, and rage within.
What if you could notice the anger when it is subtle, small, a whisper… What positive advice could it give?
For many of us, we feel angry when disrespected or dismissed. We feel angry when we witness injustice, abuse, neglect. We become angry when our boundaries are crossed, when we are challenged.
What if, instead of becoming angry, you chose to act?
What if you chose to change an aspect of your life, your behavior, your outlook, your perspective. What if you could hear the small voice, showing...
We talk a lot about self-sabotage and avoidance and try to create strategies to fight resistance. But why do we experience resistance at all?
We resist delving deep within, the pressure of deep diving.
Have you ever seen what free divers do? Free divers go into the water, without oxygen, with only a few pieces of equipment, very little support. They can risk their lives to push the limits of their bodies, pushing themselves a little more with each dive, to go deeper, longer, just to see what they can do, continually pushing the line between life and death.
Most of us are deeply afraid of anything that resembles this, but we emulate this behaviour as we push our comfort zones, and as we delve within ourselves. We are deeply complex. We are the sun and stars, blood and guts, fury and ecstasy, and this terrifies us. The duality becomes a whirlpool that we fear being sucked into, because we believe that we could never escape. But if we actually allow ourselves to go...
I have always been more comfortable in extremes. Extremes are much clearer than ‘middle ground’. When you feel really angry, you know it. If you just feel a little irritated, uninterested, meh, there is less clarity on how you feel and why. A few years ago, I began to look into extremes, and how I could use them to find harmony. And I found that experiencing one extreme can show you the other side of the coin…
Early last year, I set the intention to find my flow in the feminine. Even as a woman, I often feel more comfortable in my masculine aspects. But I wanted to find more harmony between the two, and so I started to look for ways to soften, and embrace both. But I did not have much luck as I struggled to find something that would support the two.
In October, I found myself signing up for a Crossfit class. For those of you who know a bit about Crossfit, you will know that it is not the most feminine of...
When I ask about barriers, distractions, blocks, or obstacles, I receive a variety of reasons and answers. Usually, they include negative belief systems, based off of what was learned at an early age (‘That’s all you’re getting’, ‘That won’t work’, ‘You don’t have the skills/knowledge/experience’, etc).
Or old emotion and trauma stops us, such as past failure, betrayal, disappointment, broken trust, broken hearts, broken hopes and dreams.
We often play small to fit in, to be accepted, to belong.
There is not ‘enough’ money, clients, love, choice, to accomplish our goals.
Is any of this resonating, or sounding familiar? What do you usually do in these situations? What is your way of removing barriers?
I’m going to give you my ‘secret’ here, and it is less complicated than you think:
Understand that the fears and limiting beliefs...
Fear is one of my favorite topics. Ever.
I love the ways in which people respond when you touch upon fear. Usually, they either dive into the conversation, happy for an outlet or opportunity to process and understand, or clam up, close off, sink down.
We all have fears, and there will always be a degree of fear in our experiences, but what I find fascinating is the ways in which we respond to the fears within.
Really, we have two choices:
1. Face the fears, do our best to understand them, and then deal with the ‘stuff’ that we have attached.
2. Avoid it.
The problem with option 2 is that you don’t really get to avoid it. You can try. You can blind yourself, numb yourself, run away, but ultimately, your fears will not resolve until you choose option 1.
I am always able to recognize the most successful, balanced, harmonious people based on how they respond to fear.
Here is the truth about fear (which you will hopefully find to be a huge relief):
Fear is a lie.
Your fears...
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