(i.e. Is your stubbornness stopping your evolution?)

There is a part of me that can appreciate a little rebellion.  There are times when shaking up the ‘status quo’ is good for the world.  But I can also see how we can become stubborn or fixed when we feel that our rights or desires are being pushed or threatened.
Where does fixation become so fixed that we lose sight of our true desire?

The issue of ‘standing up for myself’ has come up pretty regularly with clients over the past few weeks.  When we delve into why it needs to be done, there is always a fear of being threatened, manipulated, or of something being taken away.

But you cannot be ‘manipulated’ without permitting.
Nothing can be taken from you without your allowing.
And you can never be threatened if you are not afraid.

We resist what we are afraid of, of what we do not understand.  And if you do not understand how to say no, set a boundary, change the dynamics, fear will motivate you to avoid or fight back.

What if you re...

(i.e. What do your negative emotions give you permission to do?)

I am often asked about the point of negative experiences, feelings, perspectives, and why we go through them.
There is a positive to EVERY perceived negative in existence.

If we are here to experience, learn, evolve, we can do this in an infinite number of ways.
And we are often motivated through extremes, especially when a situation brings us into discomfort, pain, and especially suffering.

We often hear stories about addicts hitting rock bottom, of partners within abusive relationships finally having had enough. People reach breaking point, and finally have the conversation that could have been spoken years ago. They become so unhealthy, physically or mentally, that the pain motivates them to choose change.
On some level, we can often believe that we have to get to the worst point in order to be motivated enough to take a new step.

Those moments when we feel hormonal, enraged, or indignant, often push us to act. But ar...

On some level, we all fight the experience of Love.
We ask, beg, and plead for love, and then reject loving experiences as they are offered. There is always a complex mix of ideas, images, and feelings that float to the surface as we consider what the word love means. The layers of misaligned ideas develop as a result of millennia of human beings grasping at love, but failing to truly understand. 

As we develop relationships with partners, lovers, friends, we know that we want to create loving experiences. But we fail in our attempts to inspire, create, cajole, or evoke love within ourselves or another, because we have too many conflicting beliefs about what love really is.

Those who have lived in abusive relationships will often associate love with abuse. If ‘the people who love you, leave you’, we believe that love leads to abandonment. We have associations based on our experiences, but we are blaming love for the areas in which love has actually been lacking.
Love does not create ab...

As a healing practitioner, I have heard the expression “Healer, heal thyself” repeated throughout the years.  And the more I teach and practice, the more I understand the why behind this wisdom.
There is always a difference in working with a practitioner who has gone through their own ‘stuff’, but has processed, understood, and resolved it, versus one who has not.  A lot of healers believe that because they are going through something now, they are qualified to help others with it.  But if you are still in your stuff, how can you see what is happening with your client?

The very best healers are those who are ready and willing, not only to help others through their suffering, but who have done the same for themselves.
The reality is that as long as you are swimming in your suffering, you cannot see the truth of what is happening within your client.  As long as you feel enraged over abuse from the past, you cannot really help another to understand his emotions, or to move beyond.
As long a...

In December 2016, I witnessed David Gray’s masterclass at the Royal Lyceum Theatre in Edinburgh.
I am in love with the experience of listening to singer/songwriters perform their own work.  Because they KNOW it, they live it, they understand.  There is a magic in that connection from heart, gut, soul, to hands, voice, instruments.

I did not know many of his songs, but I was consumed by his production.  He would begin a song with a bit of background music, record, and repeat.  And then a layer of melody, record, repeat.  Background vocals, a beat, and a few other layers would be performed one by one, and added to the growing complexity of the song.
{I remember watching a show about Motown music a few years ago, and hearing them discuss the layers of music, and the fullness the layers provided.  Music from that era has always been among my favorite, and now I know why.}

At one point, David started to talk about the layering of music, and I started to think about our layers of music, how ...

What wisdom are you bringing to 2018?
The end of December is one of my favorite times of the year. I love it because work winds down for the holidays, and I set aside time to reflect, to gain perspective. It is a powerful few weeks.
As I look back, I remember what I’ve gained over the year. And this year has been a time of growth and of letting go. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

At the beginning of the year, I focused on my core desired feelings (via Danielle LaPorte, check her out). These represent how I want to feel as much as possible, and there are some subtle shifts each year. My words for 2017 were:
Purposeful, Luminous, Bold, Dynamic, Aware, Fascinated, Aligned, Awakened, Spirited, Devoted
Next year, I’ll be asking for more dynamism and luminosity, fine-tuning my experience.

Theme of the Year: What would Prince do?
The answer: Whatever the hell he wants to do. It is always liberating to do what you truly desire, what really aligns.
Be more like Prince. Live your gifts and your purpose...

What do you refuse to acknowledge within?

Avoidance is one of the ways that we attempt to protect ourselves. We believe on some level that if we refuse to acknowledge something, that it will not hurt us.

But the opposite is true.

Whatever you resist persists. Whatever you avoid sticks. Whatever you ignore will eventually make itself known. Often in the loudest, most inconvenient and uncomfortable way possible.

Which area of your life feels as though it is out of alignment?
Which facet feels uncomfortable, heavy?
What area is hazy, confusing, upside down?

What are you refusing to see, feel, know, or acknowledge on a conscious level, which would allow you to resolve the inner conflict?

Take some time today or this week, to shine a light on the dark places within your life. All you will see are your fears, (but remember, your fears are not the truth). And once you allow yourself to see beyond them, you will see and know the way forward, the way to peace <3

Download: Would you like to...

Our emotions are powerful guides, when we listen…
We often feel more willing or able to follow our joy, our bliss, our peace. But what are our other emotions, our more negative feelings, trying to tell us?

Anger is one that most of us tend to avoid. We are afraid of it. We are afraid of how other act, speak, behave when angry. We are afraid of what we ourselves will say or do out of anger.
This is often after we have left the anger to grow, fester, burn, and rage within.

What if you could notice the anger when it is subtle, small, a whisper… What positive advice could it give?

For many of us, we feel angry when disrespected or dismissed. We feel angry when we witness injustice, abuse, neglect. We become angry when our boundaries are crossed, when we are challenged.

What if, instead of becoming angry, you chose to act?
What if you chose to change an aspect of your life, your behavior, your outlook, your perspective. What if you could hear the small voice, showing you that something ...

What is Resistance?

We talk a lot about self-sabotage and avoidance and try to create strategies to fight resistance. But why do we experience resistance at all?

We resist delving deep within, the pressure of deep diving.

Have you ever seen what free divers do? Free divers go into the water, without oxygen, with only a few pieces of equipment, very little support. They can risk their lives to push the limits of their bodies, pushing themselves a little more with each dive, to go deeper, longer, just to see what they can do, continually pushing the line between life and death.

Most of us are deeply afraid of anything that resembles this, but we emulate this behaviour as we push our comfort zones, and as we delve within ourselves. We are deeply complex. We are the sun and stars, blood and guts, fury and ecstasy, and this terrifies us. The duality becomes a whirlpool that we fear being sucked into, because we believe that we could never escape. But if we actually allow ourselves to go...

And how one extreme can show the way to harmony…

I have always been more comfortable in extremes. Extremes are much clearer than ‘middle ground’. When you feel really angry, you know it. If you just feel a little irritated, uninterested, meh, there is less clarity on how you feel and why. A few years ago, I began to look into extremes, and how I could use them to find harmony. And I found that experiencing one extreme can show you the other side of the coin…

Early last year, I set the intention to find my flow in the feminine. Even as a woman, I often feel more comfortable in my masculine aspects. But I wanted to find more harmony between the two, and so I started to look for ways to soften, and embrace both. But I did not have much luck as I struggled to find something that would support the two.

In October, I found myself signing up for a Crossfit class. For those of you who know a bit about Crossfit, you will know that it is not the most feminine of activities. Don’t get me wrong...